Sunday, September 13, 2026

Japanese language learning

6-19-26

It's never-ending --
    this language learning
Even when I finish Book 2,
    Book 3 is waiting
Even when I finish Mango's 30 hour audiobook,
    there's Pimsleur (Levels 1-5!) to pick up
Even when my DuoLingo score goes from 21 to 99,
    I'll still barely be intermediate
Get the hang of basic verb conjugation.
    then throw in the layer of informal speech
It can be discouraging 
    seeing how far there is to go.
But when I look back,
    I see how far I've come
And unlike doing dishes
    (which is also never-ending but shows no progress),
  at least I feel like I'm getting somewhere.


6-19-26

Some Japanese friends have asked
    how I'm learning the language
Well, it's a multi-layered approach
    that I've sketched out
    in 3 three-month phases pre-Japan
Japanese from Zero textbook and video series
    for grammar and a basic foundation
DuoLingo
    for vocabulary, sentence structure, basic kanji
Comprehensible input videos
    for listening skills and "real Japanese"
Read Japanese Kanji Today
    for an introduction into kanji
Tadoku books and online club
    for reading, enjoyment, and interaction
Japanese songs (kids songs and popular songs)
    for understanding and connection
Journaling and workbook exercises
    for increased output
Mango and Pimsleur audiobooks
    for listening and speaking
Shinobi app
    for reading comprehension
Prayer
    for consecrating a hobby
Weekly in-person interaction
    for connection and output and friendship




Japanese friends!

4-20-26

Friday, April 19, 2026
Jacobson Park
Random playtime while Carter was with his small group
After what happened last time at Jacobson,
    I prayed as I walked to the playground
        for connections and divine appointments
Immediately, I saw Haruka
    I made small talk
        and soon found out she was from Japan
    She spoke in broken English
    I spoke in broken Japanese
    She's a fellow big-family mom driving a Sienna
    They moved the end of March
        and she said I am her first friend :-)
Then when her family left, it was on to Akiko and Miho
    I noticed their daughters first
        and then tried to find their moms
    When I overheard "いつも",
        I launched confidently into 日本語がわかりますか?
    They are friends with Osaka connections
        whose daughters go to the same school
    Now I have their contact info, too.
And why not one more? Enter Yumi
    There with her husband and two young daughters
    Another connection
I walked away from that playground,
    incredulous about You answered my simple prayer
        abundantly! (four-fold!)
Calvin makes fun of me and my approach
    "Oh, are you Japanese?"
    [Japanese talk, Japanese talk]
    Five minutes later, "Can I have your number?",
        but I see it as God using my wiring
            in the grand story He is weaving
        He made me a friendly extrovert
        He gave me a husband interested in Japan
        He called me to be a connector
       so I'm just doing my mom thing (often at parks)
        and He knows that if a Japanese mom needs connecting,
        He can send her to the same park, same time as me,
            knowing that I'll open my mouth
                and be willing to appear foolish
                and extend the American Christian hand of friendship
This is my story
This is my song,
    and I'll keep singing



4-20-26

Two years ago,
    I volunteered at Friendship
        but even as a table leader,
            I made zero lasting connections
I didn't learn any names
I could say "ringo wo taberu?" or "boru nagete"
    but that was about it
I had a dream of "one day" going to Japan
    but no plans or dates
I never texted anyone
I didn't have anyone over for dinner
I didn't remember anyone from week to week
I never prayed regularly for them by name
And when I planned a park play date one day,
    zero moms came
Discouraged and because of a family circumstances,
    I didn't volunteer the next 1.5 years.
This semester, totally last-minute and afraid of over-committing,
    I started volunteering again
        and it has been a night-and-day difference
I know soooo many names (and kids! and backgrounds!)
    and I recognize their faces
I pray over them by name
    and have texted 40+ of them
I hosted a play date where 17(!) came
I have dates for our Japanese trip
    and can hold a basic conversation
I've had four different friends over for a meal
    and three over for games
I went from wanting one Japanese friend
    to now having too many(?) to keep track of
    (maximize my memory ability for good!)
I can't believe I almost didn't volunteer at Friendship
    this time around
    based on my prior experience
These four months have been a huge blessing
    and I see myself coming alive in new ways
    and I see You using me in exciting ways
I'm here for it!
The first time around, there was a trickle
Now there's a flood!


4-21-26

Nothing like sending 30+ texts
    only to get rejection after rejection
        to humble me
Everybody "has plans"
I was on a high    
    after my reflections yesterday morning
This setback
    caused me to not feel so highly about myself
Yes, some need friendship and connection,
    but many already have established friends
        whom they can be at ease with in Japanese
            and take a break from the English bombardment
Inviting still matters
    even if rejected
        because it's one more link
And I don't need
    30 women to show up at the park
I need the right ones
    who I can go deeper with
So, Lord, have Your way
I trust You with who comes


5-23-26

On 4 of my 5 weekdays,
    I met up with at least one Japanese friend
Monday - Marie (and briefly Natsumi)
    at Charles Young Park
Wednesday - Niho (and Yuria and Eriko and others)
    at Kizuna
Thursday - Ibuki
    at Lighthouse to volunteer
Friday - Haruka and Hiroka
    at Central Library
plus text threads with Ayana
                            and Honami
                            and Nanako
                            and Yuri
                            and Ena
                            and Misa
                            and Mariko
My prayer for one Japanese friend?
You've answered abundantly
                            lavishly
                            bountifully
                            time and time again
ありがとう!


5-23-26

Deep and wide
    It has defined 
        the way I approach the Bible
Deep - Bible study and Scripture memorization
Wide - Reading through the Bible every year
I need both -- deep and wide
And now it has also become
        the way I approach Japanese friendships
Deep - one-on-ones, over for dinner, back-and-forth texts
Wide - praying over all 100+ Japanese from the directory
            inviting dozens to park play dates
I need both -- deep and wide
    casting the net wide
    but going deeper with some
I am limited and finite, though,
    and I wonder
        How far wide can I stretch without breaking?
        Who are You calling me to go deep with?
            I can't go deep with everyone.
Grateful for Your deep and wide love
    and that there's a fountain flowing
        deep
            and
                wide



Solitude Reflections - Silence (August 2026)

Abbey of Gethsemani


8-26-26
For the first time,
    I sat in the "silent" dining room tonight
The main one is free from talking
    but there's soft music playing in the background
This one really is silent
    (apart from the clinking of silverware)
I didn't mind the silent part so much --
    the difficulty was in no windows
        with flitting hummingbirds to observe!
I willed myself not to multi-task
    by reading while eating
        and it was so hard
            to just sit there
                and eat
I looked around
I enjoyed my food
I glanced at the other 3 in the room
I thought of more poems to write
I let the quietness seep into my pores...
Did I get any major revelation?
No, but I don't have to
I can learn to be content in the silence
    even if You're silent, too


8-26-26
Silence itself 
    is not my teacher
You are my Teacher,
    and You often speak in silence
When I create silence,
    by stopping what I'm doing
        stopping what I'm saying
        stopping what I'm thinking
    there's space in the quiet
        for You to speak
You can speak to me
    anytime
    anywhere
    through any medium
It's up to me
    to listen
        which sometimes can look like a silent retreat
        but more often,
            it's noticing
                paying attention
                communing with the Spirit within
You are always speaking
Am I aware?
Open the ears (and eyes!) of my heart, Lord


8-27-26
Silence is not my teacher
The forest is not my teacher
The hummingbird is not my teacher
The darkness is not my teacher
The sunset is not my teacher
The rock is not my teacher
The daybreak is not my teacher
The world is not my teacher
The inchworm is not my teacher
My dinner is not my teacher
My neighbor is not my teacher
The moon is not my teacher
The mama deer is not my teacher
The traffic light is not my teacher
The melody is not my teacher
YOU are my teacher!
Yet You can use all things and people
                            living and nonliving
                            to teach me
            if I'm a willing, attentive student.





    

Solitude Reflections - Bondage to Food (August 2026)

Abbey of Gethsemani

8-26-26
Dawn helped me break
    my bondage to stuff
        with reminders like 
            "Just because you like it
                (or liked it at one time)
                (or love the memory attached to it)
            doesn't mean you need to keep it.
            You can let it go."
And now I'm applying similar principles
    to help me overcome
        my bondage to food.
            Just because you like it
                (or it tastes good)
                (or it makes you happy)
            doesn't mean you need to eat it 
                (or get seconds of it)
One of my biggest struggles with food
    is portion control
        (eating more just because I want to,
            well past the point of needing it),
        so one boundary is "no seconds"
    And another is "eat slower" (Put your fork down in between bites!)
So I tried those out tonight
    in the silent dining room.
I knew I'd like those carrots mixed with wild rice
    because they had been served separately last night
    (and I, of course, as my father's daughter, mixed them up)
I got a reasonable amount on my plate
    to go with my salad
And. I. ate. s-l-o-w-l-y
Man, I enjoyed every bite
So good! So good!
I closed my eyes
I thought about this gift from His bounty through Christ our Lord
I wondered at what they put into it to make it taste so good
I marveled at a God who gifted us with taste buds
    and a variety of food for our pleasure
I made sure my mouth was completely empty
    before spooning in my next bite
I chomped each grain of wild rice and each tender carrot
It was a spiritual experience, I tell ya!
When I was done, I was done
Old Mary wouldn't have thought twice
    about returning for a heaping second helping
But no.
I can enjoy the food and receive nourishment from it
    without stuffing myself
Life with boundaries is good!

8-27-26
Barb says I need lifelong food boundaries.
    (which rubs me the wrong way!)
After all, I used to be able to 
    eat whatever I wanted
            whenever I wanted
    and stay at 160 lbs. 
It wasn't hard at all
    to lose the pregnancy weight
Well, those days are over,
    and I'm delusional if I think
         I can do without any boundaries
        and lose/maintain my weight
I'm good at strict temporary boundaries
But what about boundaries loose enough to live with them long-term without feeling deprived
    yet strict enough that they keep me from overeating?
So here's what I've come up with, for now anyways:
    -2 meals/day including protein and fruit/vegetable
    -5 tall glasses of water/day
    -no snacks, except for special occasions
    -no eating after 6 pm, except for special occasions
    -eat s-l-o-w-e-r, putting fork down between bites
    -no seconds
We'll see how this goes!

8-28-26
On this retreat, 
    I thought it would be hard to keep my food boundaries
        since they serve 3 meals a day here
Turns out,
    I have not minded one bit
        that breakfast comes and goes
            while I sit on this holy hill
I'd rather be here for the full crescendo of
    dark stillness hanging on a last thread
    Moon handing the reins to Sun
    misty fog lingering over the valleys
    brilliant pinks heralding (once again) the sun's coming
    literally witnessing a sliver over the horizon burst forth into glorious day
    feeling the warmth and brightness of the sun that I can no longer look at directly
    Day has undeniably arrived, pushing back the darkness
And this has been happening every day of my retreat
                                            every day of the 175 years the Abbey has been here
                                   and back when there were no people yet wandering these knobs
                                            or climbing this hill
When the disciples asked Jesus if he was hungry,
    He replied, "My food is to do the will of Him who sent me and to accomplish His work."

This is my manna for another day
I'm hungry only for more of His presence


8-28-26
Fudge
Not my favorite,
    but I took one small sample cube that the monks had made
    out to my favorite garden bench
Instead of inhaling it    
    and immediately grabbing another,
        I savored it.
I took one nibble at a time
    biting delicately on every piece of nut 
    and letting the chocolate flavor pervade my taste buds
Before another nibble,
    I would completely clear every bit from my mouth.
I closed my eyes,
    pondering this good gift.
The richness, the lavishness, the sweetness...
And when I finally finished that tiny cube,
    I was grateful for the experience 
    but felt no need to greedily grab another --
    those are for others to partake
Similarly, my retreat is coming to an end
    It has been rich and flavorful,
    and I have enjoyed every moment here
    but I can live in the gratitude of "done"
    and let other sojourners have their turn.

Japanese language learning

6-19-26 It's never-ending --     this language learning Even when I finish Book 2,     Book 3 is waiting Even when I finish Mango's ...