Japanese language learning

6-19-26

It's never-ending --

    this language learning

Even when I finish Book 2,

    Book 3 is waiting

Even when I finish Mango's 30 hour audiobook,

    there's Pimsleur (Levels 1-5!) to pick up

Even when my DuoLingo score goes from 21 to 99,

    I'll still barely be intermediate

Get the hang of basic verb conjugation.

    then throw in the layer of informal speech

It can be discouraging 

    seeing how far there is to go.

But when I look back,

    I see how far I've come

And unlike doing dishes

    (which is also never-ending but shows no progress),

  at least I feel like I'm getting somewhere.

6-19-26

Some Japanese friends have asked

    how I'm learning the language

Well, it's a multi-layered approach

    that I've sketched out

    in 3 three-month phases pre-Japan

Japanese from Zero textbook and video series

    for grammar and a basic foundation

DuoLingo

    for vocabulary, sentence structure, basic kanji

Comprehensible input videos

    for listening skills and "real Japanese"

Read Japanese Kanji Today

    for an introduction into kanji

Tadoku books and online club

    for reading, enjoyment, and interaction

Japanese songs (kids songs and popular songs)

    for understanding and connection

Journaling and workbook exercises

    for increased output

Mango and Pimsleur audiobooks

    for listening and speaking

Shinobi app

    for reading comprehension

Prayer

    for consecrating a hobby

Weekly in-person interaction

    for connection and output and friendship

Japanese friends!

4-20-26

Friday, April 19, 2026

Jacobson Park

Random playtime while Carter was with his small group

After what happened last time at Jacobson,

    I prayed as I walked to the playground

        for connections and divine appointments

Immediately, I saw Haruka

    I made small talk

        and soon found out she was from Japan

    She spoke in broken English

    I spoke in broken Japanese

    She's a fellow big-family mom driving a Sienna

    They moved the end of March

        and she said I am her first friend :-)

Then when her family left, it was on to Akiko and Miho

    I noticed their daughters first

        and then tried to find their moms

    When I overheard "いつも",

        I launched confidently into 日本語がわかりますか？

    They are friends with Osaka connections

        whose daughters go to the same school

    Now I have their contact info, too.

And why not one more? Enter Yumi

    There with her husband and two young daughters

    Another connection

I walked away from that playground,

    incredulous about You answered my simple prayer

        abundantly! (four-fold!)

Calvin makes fun of me and my approach

    "Oh, are you Japanese?"

    [Japanese talk, Japanese talk]

    Five minutes later, "Can I have your number?",

        but I see it as God using my wiring

            in the grand story He is weaving

        He made me a friendly extrovert

        He gave me a husband interested in Japan

        He called me to be a connector

       so I'm just doing my mom thing (often at parks)

        and He knows that if a Japanese mom needs connecting,

        He can send her to the same park, same time as me,

            knowing that I'll open my mouth

                and be willing to appear foolish

                and extend the American Christian hand of friendship

This is my story

This is my song,

    and I'll keep singing

4-20-26

Two years ago,

    I volunteered at Friendship

        but even as a table leader,

            I made zero lasting connections

I didn't learn any names

I could say "ringo wo taberu?" or "boru nagete"

    but that was about it

I had a dream of "one day" going to Japan

    but no plans or dates

I never texted anyone

I didn't have anyone over for dinner

I didn't remember anyone from week to week

I never prayed regularly for them by name

And when I planned a park play date one day,

    zero moms came

Discouraged and because of a family circumstances,

    I didn't volunteer the next 1.5 years.

This semester, totally last-minute and afraid of over-committing,

    I started volunteering again

        and it has been a night-and-day difference

I know soooo many names (and kids! and backgrounds!)

    and I recognize their faces

I pray over them by name

    and have texted 40+ of them

I hosted a play date where 17(!) came

I have dates for our Japanese trip

    and can hold a basic conversation

I've had four different friends over for a meal

    and three over for games

I went from wanting one Japanese friend

    to now having too many(?) to keep track of

    (maximize my memory ability for good!)

I can't believe I almost didn't volunteer at Friendship

    this time around

    based on my prior experience

These four months have been a huge blessing

    and I see myself coming alive in new ways

    and I see You using me in exciting ways

I'm here for it!

The first time around, there was a trickle

Now there's a flood!

4-21-26

Nothing like sending 30+ texts

    only to get rejection after rejection

        to humble me

Everybody "has plans"

I was on a high    

    after my reflections yesterday morning

This setback

    caused me to not feel so highly about myself

Yes, some need friendship and connection,

    but many already have established friends

        whom they can be at ease with in Japanese

            and take a break from the English bombardment

Inviting still matters

    even if rejected

        because it's one more link

And I don't need

    30 women to show up at the park

I need the right ones

    who I can go deeper with

So, Lord, have Your way

I trust You with who comes

5-23-26

On 4 of my 5 weekdays,

    I met up with at least one Japanese friend

Monday - Marie (and briefly Natsumi)

    at Charles Young Park

Wednesday - Niho (and Yuria and Eriko and others)

    at Kizuna

Thursday - Ibuki

    at Lighthouse to volunteer

Friday - Haruka and Hiroka

    at Central Library

plus text threads with Ayana

                            and Honami

                            and Nanako

                            and Yuri

                            and Ena

                            and Misa

                            and Mariko

My prayer for one Japanese friend?

You've answered abundantly

                            lavishly

                            bountifully

                            time and time again

ありがとう!

5-23-26

Deep and wide

    It has defined 

        the way I approach the Bible

Deep - Bible study and Scripture memorization

Wide - Reading through the Bible every year

I need both -- deep and wide

And now it has also become

        the way I approach Japanese friendships

Deep - one-on-ones, over for dinner, back-and-forth texts

Wide - praying over all 100+ Japanese from the directory

            inviting dozens to park play dates

I need both -- deep and wide

    casting the net wide

    but going deeper with some

I am limited and finite, though,

    and I wonder

        How far wide can I stretch without breaking?

        Who are You calling me to go deep with?

            I can't go deep with everyone.

Grateful for Your deep and wide love

    and that there's a fountain flowing

        deep

            and

                wide

Solitude Reflections - Silence (August 2026)

Abbey of Gethsemani

8-26-26

For the first time,

    I sat in the "silent" dining room tonight

The main one is free from talking

    but there's soft music playing in the background

This one really is silent

    (apart from the clinking of silverware)

I didn't mind the silent part so much --

    the difficulty was in no windows

        with flitting hummingbirds to observe!

I willed myself not to multi-task

    by reading while eating

        and it was so hard

            to just sit there

                and eat

I looked around

I enjoyed my food

I glanced at the other 3 in the room

I thought of more poems to write

I let the quietness seep into my pores...

Did I get any major revelation?

No, but I don't have to

I can learn to be content in the silence

    even if You're silent, too

8-26-26

Silence itself 

    is not my teacher

You are my Teacher,

    and You often speak in silence

When I create silence,

    by stopping what I'm doing

        stopping what I'm saying

        stopping what I'm thinking

    there's space in the quiet

        for You to speak

You can speak to me

    anytime

    anywhere

    through any medium

It's up to me

    to listen

        which sometimes can look like a silent retreat

        but more often,

            it's noticing

                paying attention

                communing with the Spirit within

You are always speaking

Am I aware?

Open the ears (and eyes!) of my heart, Lord

8-27-26

Silence is not my teacher

The forest is not my teacher

The hummingbird is not my teacher

The darkness is not my teacher

The sunset is not my teacher

The rock is not my teacher

The daybreak is not my teacher

The world is not my teacher

The inchworm is not my teacher

My dinner is not my teacher

My neighbor is not my teacher

The moon is not my teacher

The mama deer is not my teacher

The traffic light is not my teacher

The melody is not my teacher

YOU are my teacher!

Yet You can use all things and people

                            living and nonliving

                            to teach me

            if I'm a willing, attentive student.

    

Solitude Reflections - Bondage to Food (August 2026)

Abbey of Gethsemani

8-26-26

Dawn helped me break

    my bondage to stuff

        with reminders like 

            "Just because you like it

                (or liked it at one time)

                (or love the memory attached to it)

            doesn't mean you need to keep it.

            You can let it go."

And now I'm applying similar principles

    to help me overcome

        my bondage to food.

            Just because you like it

                (or it tastes good)

                (or it makes you happy)

            doesn't mean you need to eat it 

                (or get seconds of it)

One of my biggest struggles with food

    is portion control

        (eating more just because I want to,

            well past the point of needing it),

        so one boundary is "no seconds"

    And another is "eat slower" (Put your fork down in between bites!)

So I tried those out tonight

    in the silent dining room.

I knew I'd like those carrots mixed with wild rice

    because they had been served separately last night

    (and I, of course, as my father's daughter, mixed them up)

I got a reasonable amount on my plate

    to go with my salad

And. I. ate. s-l-o-w-l-y

Man, I enjoyed every bite

So good! So good!

I closed my eyes

I thought about this gift from His bounty through Christ our Lord

I wondered at what they put into it to make it taste so good

I marveled at a God who gifted us with taste buds

    and a variety of food for our pleasure

I made sure my mouth was completely empty

    before spooning in my next bite

I chomped each grain of wild rice and each tender carrot

It was a spiritual experience, I tell ya!

When I was done, I was done

Old Mary wouldn't have thought twice

    about returning for a heaping second helping

But no.

I can enjoy the food and receive nourishment from it

    without stuffing myself

Life with boundaries is good!

8-27-26

Barb says I need lifelong food boundaries.

    (which rubs me the wrong way!)

After all, I used to be able to 

    eat whatever I wanted

            whenever I wanted

    and stay at 160 lbs. 

It wasn't hard at all

    to lose the pregnancy weight

Well, those days are over,

    and I'm delusional if I think

         I can do without any boundaries

        and lose/maintain my weight

I'm good at strict temporary boundaries

But what about boundaries loose enough to live with them long-term without feeling deprived

    yet strict enough that they keep me from overeating?

So here's what I've come up with, for now anyways:

    -2 meals/day including protein and fruit/vegetable

    -5 tall glasses of water/day

    -no snacks, except for special occasions

    -no eating after 6 pm, except for special occasions

    -eat s-l-o-w-e-r, putting fork down between bites

    -no seconds

We'll see how this goes!

8-28-26

On this retreat, 

    I thought it would be hard to keep my food boundaries

        since they serve 3 meals a day here

Turns out,

    I have not minded one bit

        that breakfast comes and goes

            while I sit on this holy hill

I'd rather be here for the full crescendo of

    dark stillness hanging on a last thread

    Moon handing the reins to Sun

    misty fog lingering over the valleys

    brilliant pinks heralding (once again) the sun's coming

    literally witnessing a sliver over the horizon burst forth into glorious day

    feeling the warmth and brightness of the sun that I can no longer look at directly

    Day has undeniably arrived, pushing back the darkness

And this has been happening every day of my retreat

                                            every day of the 175 years the Abbey has been here

                                   and back when there were no people yet wandering these knobs

                                            or climbing this hill

When the disciples asked Jesus if he was hungry,

    He replied, "My food is to do the will of Him who sent me and to accomplish His work."

This is my manna for another day

I'm hungry only for more of His presence

8-28-26

Fudge

Not my favorite,

    but I took one small sample cube that the monks had made

    out to my favorite garden bench

Instead of inhaling it    

    and immediately grabbing another,

        I savored it.

I took one nibble at a time

    biting delicately on every piece of nut 

    and letting the chocolate flavor pervade my taste buds

Before another nibble,

    I would completely clear every bit from my mouth.

I closed my eyes,

    pondering this good gift.

The richness, the lavishness, the sweetness...

And when I finally finished that tiny cube,

    I was grateful for the experience 

    but felt no need to greedily grab another --

    those are for others to partake

Similarly, my retreat is coming to an end

    It has been rich and flavorful,

    and I have enjoyed every moment here

    but I can live in the gratitude of "done"

    and let other sojourners have their turn.