I hear it...

I hear it in their voices
     these sudden outbursts of anger
     the I'm-annoyed-with-you tone
     the dramatic exasperation over something trivial
And in my Don't-talk-to-your-brother-that-way lecture,
     I wonder aloud...
          Why are they so easily angered?
          Why so irritable?
          Why so quick to raise the volume?
     and then the echoes
          of my own boiling frustration and annoyance
               from minutes, hours, days earlier
                    point the finger squarely back at me
Me.
I have been their teacher.
I have been their example.
When my harsh words stir up anger, 
     then that's what they'll choose, too,
          no matter how many times I tell them
               "A gentle answer turns away wrath."

I need deep breaths.
I need breaks.
I need a full tank.
I need the Holy Spirit's fruit in me.

They need these things, too,
     but they also need an example
          of choosing love even when frustrated.

I heard it in their voices,
     but first, they heard it in mine.

What will they hear next?

(written 6-22-20)